Lose Love to Find Love

Sometimes love is like the pair of misplaced spces that makes u look everywhere, only to find it propped on top of your head.
You need someone else to tell u 'Dude, You have it already. Stop looking all over the place'

Why do we grow up!

I woke up a January Morning to get ready to leave for work.
A glance out of the window with still heavy eyes and even in the darkness i could see the mist.
I knew instantly that it will be an extremely foggy day. That meant extra travel time and extra layers of clothing. Needless to say i wasnt happy about it.
About 30 mins later my cab arrived and I left. On the way i saw a kid of around 6 come out of a building on a two wheeler with his dad. He was mesmerized by the fog. I could see his eyes grow bigger as he scanned the surroundings. He said something to his dad happily,presumably about the fog. His dad could only manage a grunt in reply as he was trying to focus his attention a white space ahead of him.
The same fog that gave wonder to a child gave me a frown.
Wish i hadnt grown up.

The Table of Nineteen

I recently had the opportunity of volunteering as a teacher for a charitable school.
I spent my first Saturday with class IV. I started out with a casual conversation in my attempt to know the students better. Within minutes i knew that the kid in the first row was different.
I could see a twinkle in the small eyes that showed the desire to become someone when he grew up. He wants to be an engineer one day.

I told him that he must excel in maths for that. He told me how he knew tables of all numbers till 20 in English and Telugu. I couldn't resist asking him to recite the table of 19. I had no way of checking if he made any mistakes. ( I do not know the table of 19) but he sounded correct.

I wonder why life makes some of us work harder than the others.
Like they say - a chunk of coal must go through enormous pressure before it becomes a diamond.
I hope this one diamond shines on....

Luck...

An email told me that i won't be going to my preferred MBA college this year.
Another time i had reached within inches of making it and then failed.

I was really angry...at no one in particular....
After twenty minutes of crying over the unfairness of life i went to the next room to get something where my friend was working on the laptop.

On the stark black background of her screen were bold silver letters that read
'Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck'.

Suddenly it didnt seem like the end..

Sick and sick some more!

First I got sick with flue. Fever, body ache and the likes.
Then i got sick of being home alone.
Then i got sick of watching TV and wasting time over the internet.
But so far the most sick i have been is because of listening to people and their advise for getting better.

'Take antibiotics'
'Have hot milk'
'Sit in the sun'
'Get as much sleep as possible'

It may seem that my health has become an issue of national importance.
But on the contrary i think Indians just love to give advice.
Be it a colleague buying a new bike or be it a friend sending flowers to his girlfriend. We can be counted to have some new idea to add to the dilemma.


I know i do it too. But I wonder what is the pleasure that we get from it all.
Maybe the next time i feel like sharing my uninvited inputs with someone i will hold my advise and see what happens...
And in the meantime u guys r free to guide me with the 'Do's and Don'ts for an irritated soul'

Mommie knows best!

While watching a recent bollywood movie i realized how the hero usually has a famous idea from his mom that he quotes.
Remember Shaurukh's mom tellig him 'Sahi raasta and Galat raasta ' funda in DDLJ or Kajol's mum asking her to look for love in Fanaa.

Wonder what my mom taught me that i would wanna quote here.
Unfortunately her most precious pearl of wisdom isn't anything that will make my life easier if i ever decided to elope.
Mom's words often ring in my ears when i lie in bed waiting to fall asleep.
'Brush your teeth before u sleep otherwise your teeth will fall off one day soon'.

Wonder when Yash Chopra will make a mom say the same to the hero instead of the lame 'Maine tere liye apne haatho se kheer banayee hai bete'.
Something tells me its going to be a long wait...

A Bottleful of Emotions

I miss writing - the old fashioned way.

The SMELL of ink filling my nostrils as i scribbled away.
The FEAR of being yelled at by mom for having ink blots on my school shirt.
The JOY of getting my first imported fauntainpen on my 10th birthday.
The FRUSTRATION of the nib breaking in the middle of an exam.
The EXTRAVAGANCE of having a collection of pens.
The SATISFACTION of making a to-do list and ticking items when they are done.

So many emotions in a small Chelpark Ink Bottle.
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The Night

This story was written by me for a story writing competition in my office.

Nah. i didnt win anything. Here Goes.

That night has been etched in my memory forever, after all it was the night which changed my life forever...

It was the night when the plan that I had made for months was executed. Today he was lying dead in his house, soaked in perspiration from the tussle.
I had finally killed him. He had to pay for his sins.
With these thoughts I went back to almost a year ago when I had discovered that I was going to be a mother. It was the happiest day of my life. He was very elated when I broke the news to him. He had already started thinking of names for his son. He had always wanted a son. Mom kept a pooja on the auspicious day of Basant Panchmi, the day after my second ultrasound was due. I was very excited on the day. I was looking forward to be able to hear the heartbeats for the first time. But Dr Khurana's face was telling a different story.
We were told that the baby was deformed, my baby was deformed. And for the betterment of the baby we had to terminate the pregnancy.
I was shattered but his support was what took me through it.

Then one day suddenly I picked up the phone and heard talk on the other line with his good friend Anil. Incidentally his wife was expecting and he was giving anil some advice about getting a son. That's when it all made sense to me. It made sense that Dr Khurana was a cheat. That my baby wasn’t deformed. She was an angel whose only fault was being fathered by a man who could not think beyond a son. Who arranged for her to be killed by a lie in case the ultrasound told that we were going to have a daughter.

I hung up the phone and decided that he will pay for my daughter’s blood, for our family's pain, for the heartbreak I went through when I realized I was married to a monster.

That night I made all of his favorite foods in dinner. After all it would be his 'Last Supper'. I mixed a sedative in his food. He ate a stomachful. Enough to paralyze his body but not enough to affect his brain. Then I told him that I knew, I knew it all. I knew the real face behind the loving husband and caring father. I saw the expression change on his face. I knew the time had come. To let him breathe his last few breaths. And I did what I had to do.

As I sit in the police lockup I remember how calm I was when I took an auto and went to the police station to confess.

I remember each and every moment of that fateful night.
And I Remember Deepika - The daughter I never had.

Unbreakable

The code had to be delivered before the clients came in the next morning.It refused to work properly and behaved much like an extremely difficult co-worker. It decided to work perfectly till 1800 HRS and then suddenly threw a fit. She looked around to realize it was long since the place was deserted.

In panic she called him on the other side of the globe. She knew he'd be asleep but he was her last chance to dodge the blame.
He picked up the call almost instantly, heard the issue and logged on to the system.

For twenty minutes no words were spoken between them as they hastily absorbed the thousand lines of code, peering to find the possible traitor.
Then he said 'The program is reading FILE1 instead of FILE'.

She couldn't believe that she could have missed this. She should have checked the basics before escalating the matter.She should have been more conscious of the code.
She feared the worst as he was about to say his next few words.

He said 'That's nothing. I make worse mistakes even with so many years behind me. The trick is to learn from everything'.
And she learnt magnanimity.

Then...

When I saw a needy kid I looked away.
When I noticed an old man trying to cross the road I thought others will help.
When I knew I was wrong I yelled.
When I knew a crowd was trying to get an auto I pushed my way through.
When I didn't have the time to understand I judged.
When I saw a man in need of a job, I thought I cant help.
When I bribed the telephone repairman I cursed the government.
When the Bomb killed so many, I checked on all my loved ones and I moved on.

Then I donated small funds for a good cause and thought what a great person I was.

Missed me?

The lull was intentional!
I was only giving you time to miss me.
Now i am back. And will keep posting regularly.

Here goes!

Duh!

Is it mandatory to be an idiot in order to become a manager?
Is it a desirable quality?
Or is it plain chance?

Please throw some light..i am all ears....

http://www.worthalaugh.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/new-logo.jpg

The Birthday Party Invite that i sent to my friends

Way to Go Girl!

Some friendships go beyond words!

Made this sketch-
Dedicated to all my friends who from time to time act as the  Hobbes in my life- are awesome companions, give the correct advice always, make sure my feet are firmly planted on the ground and force us  me share all my precious possessions with them (read food)!

Love Rains! Love Corn on the cob!

Rains are here! finally!
And with them they bring joy, greenery, potholes, happy kids and my favorite corn on the cob!

Today i tasted the first one of the season. Even if that meant getting down a good 2 kilometers before my house and walking for rest of the distance.
I got one with loads of lemon on it and very soon only the cob was left. I started walking towards home only to realize how few dustbins we have in this country. I looked for every suitable place to get rid of the remnants of the snack but it was still with me after a god ten minutes.

While i was walking back i thought of a mathematical theory. Here goes "the time for which one holds a garbage item,before disposing it on the road ,for lack of dustbin, is a directly proportional to the desire to be a good citizen,the cleanliness of the neighborhood and how many people are watching . And just before this value started to seem like infinity (that means when i was just about to throw it on the roadside), i came across this upmarket sweet shop and disposed my not-so-precious companion of twenty minutes in its trendy bin.
The shop owner glared at me as if i had let lose a wild cat in an antique furniture shop.

The thing is that his stare made me feel more at fault than i would have felt had i thrown in on the roadside. Something somewhere went extremely wrong in this country.

Thank you Ammu for teaching me the lesson
'Dogs have owners, Cats have staff'

We all have our problems, some are just worse than the others!

web location for this image

My First Blog Post Ever

This blog should have started much sooner. But my high risk job, guitar clases, weekly tennis tournaments and 5 cats gave me little time to pursue this.
(Okay okay, all those of u who know me know that none of the above things are true, but they r things i would really desire).

The actual reason for not writing a blog sooner wasnt procrastination. It was not having a net connection at home....which i now have.Thanks to mom dearest. Actually to be honest i had to beg and plead and cry for it.
And even claim that she didnt love me and i must have been picked up from the garbage dump when i was a kid, and after all this she thought that 40 grand was not a big price to pay for a weeks peace of mind.....

The laptop is all i could ever want...and more...

Thanks mom....